The most basic tool needed to win with money is the dreaded B word…a budget. Unfortunately, the word budget has gotten a bad rap, but it’s really just a plan for your money. Many people view a budget as a straight jacket that keeps them constrained. The words freedom and budget just don’t seem to go together, but once you actually take the time to do a budget you’ll see this isn’t true.

When you spend your money on paper and on purpose each month with a written budget, you’ll actually experience more freedom with your money than ever before. Many people say they’ve found even more money when they create a realistic budget and stick with it. You have to tell your money what to do or it leaves.

Your written budget for the month is your money goal. You wouldn’t build a house without a blueprint, so why would you spend your lifetime income over $2 million without a blueprint? I don’t have a textbook on budgeting, but I do have some tips to help you create a budget that will work for you and your family.

Tip No. 1: You must set-up a new budget every month.

Sit down and spend every dollar on paper before the month begins. This is called a zero-based budget. Income minus outcome equals zero every month. Look at this month’s income and this month’s bills, savings, and debts and match them up until you have given every income dollar an out-go name.

Many people have an irregular income due to commissions, self-employment or bonuses. While this makes it more difficult to predict your income, you are still responsible for doing a budget each month. Your budget will be more of a prioritized spending plan. List all of your expenses for the month, including food, debts, and bills. Then prioritize them by importance, not urgency. Ask yourself, “If I only have enough money to pay one thing this month, what would it be?” Put the numeral one next to that item and continue all the way down until you have a number next to everything.

Tip No. 2: If you’re married, agree on the budget with your spouse.

If you aren’t working together, it is almost impossible to win. In every couple there is a nerd and a free spirit. The nerd has more administration skills, is more bent towards numbers and loves budgets. The free spirit is a little or even a lot less organized and tends to see budgeting as a form of torture or a method of the other mate controlling them.

Through years of counseling we have developed a system that works. The nerd should first prepare the budget because they like to. Instead of making the budget kingly law we should submit it to the budget committee. The budget committee is the two of you. The free spirit needs to share their opinion about the budget and the nerd needs to listen. Once the budget is agreed on and is in writing, pinky-swear and spit-shake that you will never do anything with money that is not on that paper. The paper is the boss of the money, and you are the boss of what goes on the paper, but you have to stick to the budget, or it’s just an elaborate theory.

If something comes up in the middle of the month, you can change the budget but you must do two things. One, both spouses have to agree on the change. Two, you must still balance your budget. If you increase spending by $50 in one area, you must lower what you are spending somewhere else by $50. You still zero out so you don’t blow the budget, and you get spousal approval so you haven’t broke the spit pact.

Tip No. 3: Give your budget 3-4 months to start working.

Don’t try to have the perfect budget for the perfect month because we never have those. Your budget won’t be perfect the first time you do it and it probably won’t be perfect the second time either. Each month you do a budget, you will become better at knowing how much money to allow for food, gas, and other areas that vary. After three or four months, you should be able to accurately budget for each area.

When you start to spend your money on paper and on purpose, you will start to have financial freedom. But without a plan, you will get nowhere. You have to make your money behave, and a written plan is the whip and chair for the money tamer. You must do a household budget on purpose, on paper, and with your spouse every month.